Trying to Find My Niche

I’ve been hard at work on my teaching senior citizens about computers blog.  I try to write at least one post a day or add to my Table of Contents so I know what my next article should be.  It’s not easy for me to sit and write about computers sometimes.  I don’t want to talk down to my students and I don’t want to go over their heads.  And the posts, as I look back at them, seem hollow and without much substantial information.  I want to help people who don’t understand or are afraid of computer, that technology is not difficult.  They can do it.

Am I the one to do it, though?  That’s my question.

My blog got one hit this past week.  I was excited.  So I looked at the comments on the dashboard.  Guess what.  It was me doing a trackback to another post.  After I calmed down after thinking I had been hacked, I realized I am basically having a conversation with myself.  Boy is that a downer.

I do understand that my target audience is still probably in the technological Dark Ages, but isn’t anyone interested?  No, probably not.  It’s the sad reality that is my life.  When I am in a crowded room, if someone actually tries to engage me in conversation, I get ignored once I start to show enthusiasm for the subject.  I try not to talk over people, but my opinions should matter.  I get frustrated but eventually I slink back to my safe corner where I’ll be left alone until it’s all over and I can go home.

So I’ve started to wonder what should I write?  Maybe teaching seniors about computers isn’t my thing after all.  I have so many ideas wandering through my brain that I’m not sure where to begin.  I need to narrow my list of topics.

I’d love to write about the current world as I see it.  I feel as though I would bring a new perspective as I am basically an outsider to the viewpoints held by people around me.  I see the world through my own eyes.  I am not at all like those around me.  That should leave me energized and excited to share my views.  It does not.  What’s preventing me?  I guess the short answer would be fear.

The people close to me are not well informed, though they claim to be.  They have a very narrow view of the world and if I try to challenge them I am basically told I am listening to the wrong side, being indoctrinated.  They see the “truth” and I do not.  The world is evil and everyone is out to get them.  Okay, I can understand that.  There are many times I have felt that everyone hates me and is out to get me.  In most cases it is only my lack of self-esteem and highly sensitive nature that is the root cause of my emotional torture.  The world doesn’t truly hate me.  It probably doesn’t even know I exist.

I see the current Syrian refugee crisis and my heart breaks for these people.  Families are fleeing their homes to escape oppression and likely death.  I see women and young children, and men too, looking frightened, but determined.  There has to be a better way to live, is what I see in their eyes.  And because I am so sensitive to their plight, I feel their fear and it scares me.  I want to embrace them, offer my support, and comfort them.  They deserve a better life.

Those around me see only Muslim terrorists that are out to destroy America and all it stands for.  It’s only young, radical Muslim men hell-bent on jihad that they see.  There are no women or children, only evil men coming to take over our country.  They scoff at the thought of helping those that need help.  They see the refugees as the enemy.  The Others.

It breaks my heart.

So what does this have to do about blog topics?  It’s showing me that I can write about topics that make me feel impassioned  It took a few days to tweak and break up the original post into several posts that can be expanded upon.  I have potential.  I just have to find my niche.

As I think of areas of interest, I should write them down in my blogging notebook.  Then in a week, or perhaps two, I should narrow the list.  What really excites me?  I can change this blog a bit.  It’s a work in progress after all.  Nothing is set in stone.

Anyone have any suggestions?  Probably not.  I’m sitting in my living room with only two rabbits for company.  No one else is listening to me.  Oh well… 😉

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